The Easy Route

Imagine you're in the middle of the ocean and all around you, waves are crashing, splashing you, and trying to bring you under the surface. You're not a good swimmer, and all you can do is tread water. After what feels like eternity, your arms and legs can't take it anymore. It's far too tiring for you to continue. You give up and begin to sink...

You no longer hear the raging wind nor the crashing waves. In fact, all you can hear are your own thoughts. As you continue to sink farther away from the surface, you find it hard to hold your breath. It feels like you're choking and suffocating simultaneously, and your head feels like it's going to explode from all the pressure.

You eventually face your fate and wake up to find that it was all a dream.

With everything in perspective, you realize that giving up wasn't the smartest thing to do. For if you had hope, then you could've tread water just a little bit longer with faith that someone was going to save you.

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1 (NLT)

Hunger Pains

I just ate a bowl of KD that was cooked with expired milk. Obviously, I didn't know beforehand that it was overdue by 5 days...

The good thing is: I feel fine at the moment.
I wonder if my stomach will be able to survive the night?

Gah, I don't understand why my family doesn't throw things out of the fridge. This always ends up happening. You'd think that I'd learn from my mistakes, but nooo. Once again, my stomach has distracted me by saying feed me ASAP!

Well, at least the KD was good. Mmmm : )

By His grace

I can't believe that 2010 is fast approaching.

I know it's a little early to reflect, but I think that this year has been very eye-opening for me. I've learned a lot about myself and I think a lot of my naivety has left me.

I see the world from a different perspective now, and I feel like I've become full of compassion for those less fortunate. I know how hard it is to work full-time and to support myself. Currently, I'm paying for my own tuition, which is a humbling experience because I constantly feel like I'm in need of God's grace.

This year, I experienced God's love like never before. There were many times when I felt hurt, broken, and helpless. And I couldn't help but cry, grieve, and pray out of desperation. Yet, God always listened to me and gave me words of encouragement to make it through the day. He gave me strength and taught me many life lessons that I will hold on to for the rest of my life.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and serves those who are crushed in spirit.

Fashion Disasters

I often leave the house and notice that my sense of style is absolutely whack.

On these days, I usually end up buying a completely new outfit because I'm so dissatisfied with the one I'm already wearing. Although the new clothes make me feel better about myself almost instantly, the thought of my next credit card bill makes me cry on the inside.

So... after buying my new top today, I looked in the mirror and wondered if it would bring me happiness. Maybe it will, in some strange and unexpected way, but I know for certain that it won't bring me joy.

I can't help but wonder why I turn to material things for happiness when I know that true joy comes from the LORD.

It seems like I'm constantly telling myself that I need to start living my life as worship to God as it says in Romans 12:1-2. But, it's so hard to do so. I think conforming to the world is definitely one of my many struggles as a Christian, but it's a struggle that I really want to overcome.

I think that worshipping God through songs of praise on Saturdays and Sundays is not enough. I know that it'll take a long time for me to get there, but I want to be at a level where I worship God every second of the day.

I think I'm cursed

I've come to realize that a lot of random things happen to me and part of me thinks it's because I have bad luck.

For instance, my mishap with a squirrel yesterday. Yes, a squirrel.
In a nutshell, it ran up my leg after I tried to beckon it over. Now try picturing me making the attempt to shake it off my leg, in the middle of the street, right behind Robarts Library. I was sooo embarrassed. The sad thing is, I've had a similar experience, in which I got owned, by 4 pigeons. They basically took my bread and flew on my arms and shoulders, which scared the heck out of me.

Anyway, back to more bad luck!

Last night, my car battery died. It was completely my fault for leaving my radio and heater on without turning on the engine. And, when you're about 30 mins from home, without jumper cables at 4 in the morning, with a full bladder, everything looks worse than it really is.

Thank God that after asking around, a really kind McDonald's employee lent me his jumper cables!

Is it just me, or do you think that bad luck actually exists?
Or is it merely negative thinking?

Why do these things happen to me, and not to other people? Sure, it seems funny when I tell my random stories, but do I actually want to be in these situations? Not really.

It always seems like anything is bound to happen when you're me.